Rabu, 14 April 2010

HRD Edan: Salah Kabeh

Photo: Flyheaded's Photobucket
Alkisah, di sebuah perusahaan besar di kawasan Malioboro

RUMAH
Interviewer: Kowe nduwe omah opo ora?
Interviewee: Dereng...
Interviewer: Wah, kowe ora iso ketompo nang kene!
Interviewee: Lho, kok ngaten?
Interviewer: Mengko kowe mesthi ngajukne utang nang perusahaan.
Interviewee: Ah, mboten kok. Sak janipun tiyang sepuh kulo niku sampun sugih.
Interviewer: Yo malah ora ketompo.
Interviewee: Lho, kok ngaten?
Interviewer: Mengko kowe kerjo mung nggo hiburan, nongkrong-nongrong ae.




MOTOR
Interviewer: Kowe nduwe motor opo ora?
Interviewee: Mboten.
Interviewer: Ora ketompo.
Interviewee: Lho, kok mboten ketompo?
Interviewer:  Mengkokowe mesthi njaluk bantuan kredit.
Interviewee:  Sak janipun gadhah, ning tasih ten kempung, gampil mangke kulo beto ngriki.
Interviewer:  Wah, malah ra ketompo!
Interviewee:  Lho, kok ngaten?
Interviewer:  Tempat parkire wis ra cukup.


PENDIDIKAN
Interviewer: Kowe wis lulus sarjana tenan?
Interviewee: Sampun, Pak.
Interviewer: Ora ketompo, kene iki golek sing SMA ae, luwih manutan lan ben mbayare murah.
Interviewee: Sak janipun kulo tasih badhe skripsi.
Interviewer: Malah ora ketompo.
Interviewee: Lho, kados pundi to?
Interviewer: Mengko kowe kerjo mung ngetik skripsi, lek wis lulus mesti golek kerjo neng perusahaan liyo.

RASA HUMOR
Interviewer: Kowe seneng guyon opo ora?
Interviewee: Mboten, Pak.  Kulo serius nek nyambut gawe.
Interviewer: Ra ketompo.
Interviewee: Wah, kok ngoten?
Interviewer: Engko konco-koncomu lan anak buahmu podho stres.
Interviewee: Sak jane nggih sekedhik-sekedhik seneng guyon.
Interviewer: Malah ora ketompo.
Interviewee: Lho, kok?
Interviewer: Engko kowe mung email-emailan sing lucu.
Interviewee:

TRANSPORTASI
Interviewer: Kowe mau mrene numpak opo?
Interviewee: Nitih mobil.
Interviewer: Kowe ora ketompo.
Interviewee: Sebabipun?
Interviewer: Saiki BBM mundhak terus, mengko kowe njaluk mundhak bayar terus.
Interviewee: Wo, kulo wau namung mbonceng, kok.
Interviewer: Tambah ora ketompo.
Interviewee: Lho, lha kok...?
Interviewer: Mengko mung gawene mbonceng mobil kantor.  Ngrusuhi!


TANGGUNGAN
Interviewer: Anakmu akeh opo sithik?
Interviewee: Kathah, Pak.
Interviewer: Kowe ora ketompo.
Interviewee: Sebabipun?
Interviewer: Nyambut gawemu ora jenjem, mung mikir gawe uanaaak terus.
Interviewee: Lha wong namung anak adopsi, kok.
Interviewer: Tambah ora ketompo.
Interviewee: Lho, lha kok...?
Interviewer: Gawe anak ae aras-arasen, opo maneh nyambut gawe.


DESKRIPSI PEKERJAAN
Interviewer: Kowe wis ngerti gaweanmu durung?
Interviewee: Dereng.
Interviewer: Kowe ora ketompo.
Interviewee: Sebabipun?
Interviewer: Arep nyambut gawe kok ora ngerti gaweyane?
Interviewee: Oo, nek damelan niku mpun ngertos kok.
Interviewer: Tambah ora ketompo.
Interviewee: Lho, lha kok...?
Interviewer: Kowe rak mung arep keminter, to?

LOKASI KANTOR
Interviewer: Kowe ngerti kahanan kantor kene durung?
Interviewee: Dereng .
Interviewer: Kowe ora ketompo.
Interviewee: Sebabipun?
Interviewer: Arep nyambut gawe kok ora ngerti kantore?
Interviewee:Wo, sekedhik-sekedhik mpun ngertos, kok.
Interviewer: Tambah ora ketompo.
Interviewee: Lho, lha kok...?
Interviewer: Kowe senenge ngudhal-udhal wewadi kantor, to?

KESEHATAN
Interviewer: Kowe kerep loro?
Interviewee: Mboten .
Interviewer: Kowe ora ketompo.
Interviewee: Sebabipun?
Interviewer: Mesthi kerep mbolos, wong arang-arang gering.
Interviewee: Wah, sakjanipun nggih asring.
Interviewer: Tambah ora ketompo.
Interviewee: Lho, lha kok...?
Interviewer: Kantor iki ora nompo karyawan pileren.


INTERNET
Interviewer: Kowe biso nganggo Internet?
Interviewee: Mboten.
Interviewer: Kowe ora ketompo.
Interviewee: Sebabipun?
Interviewer: Perusahaan ora nompo BI (Buta Internet)
Interviewee: Wah, sakjanipun nggih saged.
Interviewer: Tambah ora ketompo.
Interviewee: Lho, lha kok...?
Interviewer: Mesthi ora bakal nyambut gawe, kakehen dolanan Internet, to?  Ngentek-entekke pulsa!


KEWARASAN
Interviewer: Kowe waras opo ora?
Interviewee: Lha, kulo nggih waras to, Pak.
Interviewer: Ra ketompo.
Interviewee: Kenging nopo?
Interviewer: Mengko kowe mesthi ora krasan neng kene.
Interviewee: Niku rumiyin, Pak.  Sakmeniko sampun rodo edan.
Interviewer: Malah ra ketompo.
Interviewee: Pripun to niki?
Interviewer: Mengko aku duwe saingan.