Kamis, 03 Juli 2008

BENAHI DULU SAWAHMU

Sebuah jurnal oleh Arde Wisben,
seorang penulis yang saya jumpai di komunitas Penulistangguh dan Kemudian
Ada yang berbeda dari warung bebek goreng yang biasa saya sambangi. Bila beberapa waktu lalu mereka selalu membuka tenda di depan sebuah ruko, sekarang mereka telah berada di dalam ruko itu sendiri. Penasaran, saya tanya pada seorang pelayannya, "Mas, sekarang nyewa ya?"

Kaget, mendengar jawaban lugas sang pelayan, "Beli!"

Oh, hebat sekali pemilik warung ini. Lokasi di sekitar jalan Petogogan, Jakarta Selatan ini pasti harganya sudah melebihi angka 1 M. Banyak juga uangnya. Bila ada kesempatan, ingin saya berbincang dengan juragan warung bebek goreng ini.

Lalu, kesempatan pun itu datang. Beberapa hari yang lalu, saya datang ke warung itu agak malam. Bebek goreng favorit sudah habis. Hanya tersisa ayam goreng dan seekor lele. Melihat sambal mentah kesukaan masih ada, saya rela untuk bersantap ayam goreng saja malam itu.

Sengaja mengambil posisi posisi duduk di meja bagian luar, saya berhadapan langsung dengan sang pemilik, yang sepertinya sedang asyik menghitung uang. Sesekali ia menyelipkan uang kepada para krunya. Saya kira itu adalah tips mereka malam itu.

Usai makan, saya coba membuka obrolan, "Jadi gimana status ruko ini Mas."

Kontan, sang pemilik, yang kemudian saya ketahui bernama Sugeng, menghentikan aktifitas menghitung uang dan berkata, "Saya beli Mas."

Ya, itu saya sudah tahu sebelumnya. Yang membuat penasaran adalah, bagaimana cara dia membelinya. Hus, tak perlu buru-buru, saya yakin jawaban itu akan meluncur sendiri dari mulut Sugeng. Dan benar, Sugeng melanjutkan ceritanya dengan penuh semangat.

"Yang punya ruko ini, saya kenal sudah 11 tahun, Mas," lanjut Sugeng, "Suatu malam saya diundang kerumahnya."

Kata demi kata mengalir dari mulut Sugeng. Ada nada bangga di sana. Sesekali dengan nada tertahan, setengah berbisik. Sugeng sepertinya ingin meyakinkan bahwa semua ceritanya adalah fakta yang benar.

Malam ketika diundang ke rumah sang pemilik ruko itu, boleh jadi merupakan titik balik dalam hidup Sugeng. Ia ditawari oleh pemilik ruko untuk mengambil alih rukonya. Sugeng kaget. Tak pernah hadir dalam mimpinya keinginan untuk memiliki sebuah ruko. Sugeng merasa cukup dengan tenda biru, beberapa meja dan kursi.

Ya, seperti pedagang makanan kebanyakan, Sugeng hanya mengandalkan kebaikan hati pemilik toko untuk merelakan teras mereka dipakai oleh penjual makanan. Tekat dan semangat, Sugeng menjadi bagian dari komunitas pedagang makanan yang memenuhi setiap sudut kota, di waktu malam.

Meski harus diakui, Sugeng relatif lebih mapan. Ia punya mobil yang siap sedia bergerak bila stok bebek habis. Punya lebih kurang 5 anak buah yang handal. Minimal lebih mapan dari seorang anak muda yang saya temui berjualan pecel lele di daerah Kalibata, beberapa tahun yang lalu.

Pemuda itu, awalnya datang ke Jakarta dengan niat berdemo membela mantan presiden Gus Dur. Entah sebab apa, perjalanannya di Jakarta berubah menjadi tukang demo masak pecel lele. Modalnya standar; tenda biru, meja dan kursi serta wajan. Semua dikerjakan sendiri. Saya sampai membuka tutup teh botol sendiri, karena tak sabar menunggu ia menyediakan pesanan buat pelanggan lain.

Kembali ke Sugeng, pembicaraan malam itu tampaknya tak masuk akal baginya. Bagaimana mungkin ia memiliki ruko di bilangan Petogogan. Apa kata dunia?

Setelah memberi sedikit waktu bagi Sugeng untuk syok, sang pemilik melanjutkan pembicaraannya tentang penertiban yang sedang marak di Jakarta. Kali ini topiknya mulai masuk akal bagi Sugeng. Ia tahu betul derita para pedagang ikan dan bunga di Barito. Dan baru-baru ini ia mendengar jeritan pedagang makanan yang diusir dari Taman Gajah Darmawangsa.

Perbincangan malam itu menjadi makin nyata bagi Sugeng. Tapi tampaknya kata perbincangan tidak tepat untuk menggambarkan suasana malam itu. Sugeng lebih tepatnya dinasehati oleh pemilik ruko.

Sugeng diberitahu kemungkin terburuk bila ruko itu tidak dimilikinya. Akan ada orang lain yang memiliki ruko tersebut. Andaikan Sugeng lolos dari penertiban, belum tentu pemilik ruko yang baru mengijinkannya untuk tetap berjualan.

Malam itu rasanya menjadi malam yang akan dikenang Sugeng seumur hidupnya. Ia mendapat nasehat dari seorang tutor yang luar biasa. Dari sekian banyak omongan sang tutor, yang melekat erat dalam pikiran Sugeng cuma sebait kata, "Benahi dulu sawahmu."

Ya, Sugeng dinasehati bahwa sebagai pedagang makanan, penting baginya untuk mempunyai tempat yang permanen. Tempat itu ibarat sawah baginya.

Bila ia sering berpindah, maka langganan akan sulit mencarinya kembali. Begitupun kalo ia pulang ke kampung, ia harus yakin bahwa ketika kembali ke Jakarta, tempat berdagangnya masih ada.

Singkat kata, hanya satu kata yang keluar dari mulut Sugeng, itu pun nyaris tak terdengar: "Berapa?"

Begitulah, Sugeng pulang dengan badan yang serasa melayang. Satu setengah milyar, dari mana akan kudapat? Tapi Sugeng menikmati betul percakapan mereka malam itu. Sugeng disadarkan bahwa membenahi sumber penghasilan lebih utama dibanding membeli atribut untuk menunjukkan kesuksesan. Setelah berunding dengan istrinya, Sugeng sampai pada kesimpulan, mobil kebanggaannya akan dilepas. Begitu pun sebuah rumah.

Selanjutnya dengan bermodal hasil penjualan rumah dan mobil tadi, Sugeng kembali mengunjungi mentornya. Sugeng menyebutkan kesanggupannya untuk membayar uang muka 600 juta. Sisanya, belum ada ide yang muncul di kepala Sugeng.

Memang Sugeng masih menyisihkan sebuah rumah kontrakan 6 pintu. Tapi itu pun tidak akan menyumbang banyak bila dijual. Lagi pula Sugeng merasa perlu untuk tetap berjaga-jaga. Andai usaha bebek goreng mandek, Sugeng masih akan mendapat penghasilan dari rumah petak itu.

Melihat tekad Sugeng yang sudah bulat, hati sang mentor luluh juga. Toh, baginya uang tak begitu mendesak saat ini. Lagipula niatnya menjual ruko itu memang lebih disebabkan karena ruko itu sulit untuk dikembangkan. Sugeng disarankan untuk pinjam uang ke bank.

Berat, tapi Sugeng sudah setengah jalan. Ia ingin mengikuti sampai di mana perjuangan ini membawanya. Ia akan menuruti sepenuhnya nasehat sang mentor yang ia percaya tulus membantunya. Tentang mentornya ini, Sugeng punya penilaian tersendiri: satu dari seribu orang di Jakarta.

Gagal pada beberapa pertemuan dengan pihak bank, tak membuat Sugeng surut. Satu persatu ia penuhi dokumen yang dibutuhkan pihak bank. Total ada 4 dokumen yang sudah dimiliki Sugeng. Dan kerja keras itu pun berbuah.

"Saya dikasih 900 juta," ujar Sugeng. Ada tekanan pada kata juta itu.
Cerita usai.

Duh, jeruk panas yang saya minum terasa betul manisnya. Oo, ternyata tak ada lagi air jeruk itu, hanya ada sisa-sisa gula yang tidak diaduk dengan sempurna. Terhanyut saya oleh cerita Sugeng.

Malam semakin larut, dan saatnya bagi saya untuk pulang. Saya ucapkan terima kasih pada Sugeng atas ceritanya. Sugeng balas mengucapkan terima kasih. Ia minta saya mendoakan agar usahanya berjalan lancar. Permintaan yang saya jawab dengan kata amien. Saya anggap Sugeng sudah berdoa dengan sendirinya.

Jalan pulang terasa panjang malam itu. Banyak pikiran berkecamuk. Bila Sugeng sudah memiliki sawahnya sendiri, mencukupi airnya dan bertanam sekian butir padi, hanya soal waktu bila Sugeng ingin menikmati hasilnya. Sementara saya, hanya sibuk menggarap sawah orang lain. Berharap upah bulanan. Yang seringkali habis terlalu cepat.
Rekan penulistangguh, kira-kira sawah kita berupa apa ya?

Arde Wisben, di penghujung malam, di suatu hari di bulan Maret 2008.

Rabu, 04 Juni 2008

Menyantap Mujahidin

For Astrid Susanti on her birthday on April 27

Santap sahur untuk puasa Senin-Kamis tak lagi meriah sejak ayah, ibu dan kakakku pindah ke Semarang. Aku malas ikut pindah. Tanggung. Sebentar lagi ujian. Lagipula rumah nenekku masih bisa dicapai dengan berjalan kaki.

Sebetulnya aku tidak sungguh-sungguh tinggal sendiri. Nenek menyuruh Jeanette, Sabar, Syukur, dan Darsono menemaniku di sini. Aku maklum jika Pak RT tidak sudi memasukkan nama mereka ke dalam kartu keluarga kami. Selain karena perbedaan spesies, mereka juga tidak pernah bisa melakukan tugas-tugas ringan sehari-hari seperti membeli gula ke warung, membayar listrik, atau menyiangi rumput. Aku tidak ingin menambah beban hidup mereka. Toh mereka cuma kucing. Aku juga tidak keberatan melakukan semua itu sendiri.

YOU'VE GOT TO FIND WHAT YOU LOVE

This is the text of the Commencement address by Steve Jobs,
delivered on June 12, 2005.

I am honored to be with you today at your commencement from one of the finest universities in the world. I never graduated from college. Truth be told, this is the closest I've ever gotten to a college graduation. Today I want to tell you three stories from my life. That's it. No big deal. Just three stories.The first story is about connecting the dots.

I dropped out of Reed College after the first 6 months, but then stayed around as a drop-in for another 18 months or so before I really quit. So why did I drop out?

It started before I was born. My biological mother was a young, unwed college graduate student, and she decided to put me up for adoption. She felt very strongly that I should be adopted by college graduates, so everything was all set for me to be adopted at birth by a lawyer and his wife. Except that when I popped out they decided at the last minute that they really wanted a girl. So my parents, who were on a waiting list, got a call in the middle of the night asking: "We have an unexpected baby boy; do you want him?" They said: "Of course." My biological mother later found out that my mother had never graduated from college and that my father had never graduated from high school. She refused to sign the final adoption papers. She only relented a few months later when my parents promised that I would someday go to college.

And 17 years later I did go to college. But I naively chose a college that was almost as expensive as Stanford, and all of my working-class parents' savings were being spent on my college tuition. After six months, I couldn't see the value in it. I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life and no idea how college was going to help me figure it out. And here I was spending all of the money my parents had saved their entire life. So I decided to drop out and trust that it would all work out OK. It was pretty scary at the time, but looking back it was one of the best decisions I ever made. The minute I dropped out I could stop taking the required classes that didn't interest me, and begin dropping in on the ones that looked interesting.

It wasn't all romantic. I didn't have a dorm room, so I slept on the floor in friends' rooms, I returned coke bottles for the 5? deposits to buy food with, and I would walk the 7 miles across town everySunday night to get one good meal a week at the Hare Krishna temple. I loved it. And much of what I stumbled into by following my curiosity and intuition turned out to be priceless later on. Let me give you one example:
Reed College at that time offered perhaps the best calligraphy instruction in the country. Throughout the campus every poster, every label on every drawer, was beautifully hand calligraphed. Because I had dropped out and didn't have to take the normal classes, I decided to take a calligraphy class to learn how to do this. I learned about serif and san serif typefaces, about varying the amount of space between different letter combinations, about what makes great typography great. It was beautiful, historical, artistically subtle in a way that science can't capture, and I found it fascinating.

None of this had even a hope of any practical application in my life. But ten years later, when we were designing the first Macintosh computer, it all came back to me. And we designed it all into the Mac. It was the first computer with beautiful typography. If I had never dropped in on that single course in college, the Mac would have never had multiple typefaces or proportionally spaced fonts. And since Windows just copied the Mac, it?s likely that no personal computer would have them. If I had never dropped out, I would have never dropped in on this calligraphy class, and personal computers might not have the wonderful typography that they do. Of course it was impossible to connect the dots looking forward when I was in college. But it was very, very clear looking backwards ten years later.

Again, you can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something ? your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life.

My second story is about love and loss.

I was lucky ? I found what I loved to do early in life. Woz and I started Apple in my parents garage when I was 20. We worked hard, and in 10 years Apple had grown from just the two of us in a garage into a $2 billion company with over 4000 employees. We had just released our finest creation ? the Macintosh ? a year earlier, and I had just turned 30. And then I got fired. How can you get fired from a company you started? Well, as Apple grew we hired someone who I thought was very talented to run the company with me, and for the first year or so things went well. But then our visions of the future began to diverge and eventually we had a falling out. When we did, our Board of Directors sided with him. So at 30 I was out. And very publicly out. What had been the focus of my entire adult life was gone, and it was devastating.

I really didn't know what to do for a few months. I felt that I had let the previous generation of entrepreneurs down - that I had dropped the baton as it was being passed to me. I met with David Packard and Bob Noyce and tried to apologize for screwing up so badly. I was a very public failure, and I even thought about running away from the valley. But something slowly began to dawn on me ? I still loved what I did. The turn of events at Apple had not changed that one bit. I had been rejected, but I was still in love. And so I decided to start over.

I didn't see it then, but it turned out that getting fired from Apple was the best thing that could have ever happened to me. The heaviness of being successful was replaced by the lightness of being a beginner again, less sure about everything. It freed me to enter one of the most creative periods of my life.

During the next five years, I started a company named NeXT, another company named Pixar, and fell in love with an amazing woman who would become my wife. Pixar went on to create the worlds first computer animated feature film, Toy Story, and is now the most successful animation studio in the world. In a remarkable turn of events, Apple bought NeXT, I returned to Apple, and the technology we developed at NeXT is at the heart of Apple's current renaissance. And Laurene and I have a wonderful family together.

I'm pretty sure none of this would have happened if I hadn't been fired from Apple. It was awful tasting medicine, but I guess the patient needed it. Sometimes life hits you in the head with a brick.Don't lose faith. I'm convinced that the only thing that kept me going was that I loved what I did. You've got to find what you love. And that is as true for your work as it is for your lovers. Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven't found it yet, keep looking. Don't settle. As with all matters of the heart, you'll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking until you find it. Don't settle.

My third story is about death.

When I was 17, I read a quote that went something like: "If you live each day as if it was your last, someday you'll most certainly be right." It made an impression on me, and since then, for the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: "If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?" And whenever the answer has been "No" for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.

Remembering that I'll be dead soon is the most important tool I've ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything ? all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure - these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.

About a year ago I was diagnosed with cancer. I had a scan at 7:30 in the morning, and it clearly showed a tumor on my pancreas. I didn't even know what a pancreas was. The doctors told me this was almost certainly a type of cancer that is incurable, and that I should expect to live no longer than three to six months. My doctor advised me to go home and get my affairs in order, which is doctor's code for prepare to die. It means to try to tell your kids everything you thought you'd have the next 10 years to tell them in just a few months. It means to make sure everything is buttoned up so that it will be as easy as possible for your family. It means to say your goodbyes.I lived with that diagnosis all day. Later that evening I had a biopsy, where they stuck an endoscope down my throat, through my stomach and into my intestines, put a needle into my pancreas and got a few cells from the tumor. I was sedated, but my wife, who was there, told me that when they viewed the cells under a microscope the doctors started crying because it turned out to be a very rare form of pancreatic cancer that is curable with surgery. I had the surgery andI'm fine now.
This was the closest I've been to facing death, and I hope it?s the closest I get for a few more decades. Having lived through it, I can now say this to you with a bit more certainty than when death was a useful but purely intellectual concept:
No one wants to die. Even people who want to go to heaven don't want to die to get there. And yet death is the destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it. And that is as it should be, because Death is very likely the single best invention of Life. It is Life's change agent. It clears out the old to make way for the new. Right now the new is you, but someday not too long from now, you will gradually become the old and be cleared away. Sorry to be so dramatic, but it is quite true.

Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma ? which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of others' opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.

When I was young, there was an amazing publication called The Whole Earth Catalog, which was one of the bibles of my generation. It was created by a fellow named Stewart Brand not far from here in Menlo Park , and he brought it to life with his poetic touch. This was in the late 1960's, before personal computers and desktop publishing, so it was all made with typewriters, scissors, and polaroid cameras. It was sort of like Google in paperback form, 35 years before Google came along: it was idealistic, and overflowing with neat tools and great notions.

Stewart and his team put out several issues of The Whole Earth Catalog, and then when it had run its course, they put out a final issue. It was the mid-1970s, and I was your age. On the back cover of their final issue was a photograph of an early morning country road, the kind you might find yourself hitchhiking on if you were so adventurous. Beneath it were the words: "Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish." It was their farewell message as they signed off. Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish. And I have always wished that for myself. And now, as you graduate to begin anew, I wish that for you.

Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish.

Thank you all very much.